Answers and Peace

I just finished a 7 day fast. It's been a while since I've done that. Every once and a while I'd do it for a day or two just for some clarity and to pause life for a bit. This time I didn't just want to pause - I wanted change. I went into this expecting God to reveal Himself & to give me some answers in a few specific areas. I felt kinda stuck. Like I am so blessed and overwhelmed with good things but I needed to know what to do next. (I'm good with lists & tasks - just tell me what to do!)

That's where God comes in. He's been faithful, so why should this time be any different? The ongoing hard thing that I battle every day is waiting. I know His ways are not my ways & His timing is perfect...but year after year (after year, after year...) goes by; I'm just so ready for God's promises to come true. 20 years is a long time to wait, and it makes me wonder - how much longer?

So, I decided to fast for a week and seek God on this, full throttle. It amazes me every time how much closer to God I get & how much easier it seems to be to talk to & trust Him. I have more time & He gives me the energy I need. On the second night, I cried out to God (literally did this about every day.) to show me what He wanted me to do, to guide me. I prayed about a few specific things, and just stopped talking. (Do ever get tired of hearing your own voice?) I just sat there, eyes closed, waiting on God. Then I said, "I just need peace." Instantly, I felt kind of light headed - not sick, but like a weight had been lifted and my whole body felt like it was floating. I got exactly what I asked for, peace.

He wasn't done either! On the 5th day, there was something stirring in me. I was really restless and just burdened. (Leading worship, I was probably too much.) I was really challenged to change & I wanted others around me to catch this fire too. God is giving me a renewed passion for Him, but that's not all He did.

I went to the movie "To Save a Life" that afternoon and that was the breaking point. Everything just came together and cemented what God was already doing in me. After the show, I just needed to get away and talk to God alone. I went to the park and I sat there for 30 minutes talking to God and letting Him change me. I just didn't want to stay the same. It's really hard to explain, but God just opened my eyes to see them in the way He does. I see how valuable each person is. Not just the people we think are cool, or need help, or we get introduced to, or whatever. Everyone. That's who we're called to tell about Christ. I cried there about the whole time and allowed God to change my heart, deeply. I saw the error of my ways in multiple areas. I had the overwhelming need to ask forgiveness from people.

The really surprising thing that He did in the midst of this week was renew my strength to carry on, to wait. He's amazing like that. Just about every time when I think, "I just can't do it anymore! Am I ever going to get married?" God steps in and somehow removes that completely and gives me peace & helps me rest in Him. It's at those moments that I honestly feel like I could stay there forever. I could just sit in the park for years; no food, no shelter, no guy, no showers (gross), with Him, like that, so intimate. Like my best friend who lets me let it all out, then goes in and fixes everything in me. He focuses on me, like I'm the only one in the room. Let's be honest, that's what we all want - we just normally look for that in other people.

Anyway, I'm still a work in progress - I'm human, I'm flawed, but I'm a beautiful mess! He's so awesome to be willing to keep picking me up and giving me the strength I need to live for Him. This change has been radical for me, that's just what I prayed for. Hopefully you'll have the boldness to simply ask God to change you. Be willing. Be specific. Be all-in. He will if you allow Him to.

I prayed a few specific things (waiting, way of living & about a few people) and then some others things that I was concerned with like not to let me get comfortable, to be radical for Him - no matter who looks on in a disapproving way or pokes fun. My confidence is in Him, not the very lacking compliments I get...which I have a hard time receiving, anyway (weird, I know.).


He, like always, has gone above and beyond what I've asked Him to. He met me right where I was and changed me. He can do it in you too. If you're ready, feel free to pray this daring prayer:

Lord, I'm being faithful. I'm holding on to You. I'm reminding You right now of Your promises and I'm expectant that You will fulfill them in Your time. Help me to wait even more. Give me peace. Help me continue to rest in You every day. Help me continue to go against the ways of this world & strive after you. Swimming against the current gets tiring after a while. Strengthen me, God. I'm keeping my focus on You - it's You I'm chasing after instead of the next gadget, promotion, guy, car, wad of cash, etc...it's just You. At the end of the day, I commit again, that if You never bless me with the things I long for - I will still love You. I will still serve You. I will still tell others of Your goodness. You are faithful, help me to be more like You.

Bible vs Cell Phone

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

• What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
• What if we flipped through it several times a day?
• What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
• What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
• What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?
• What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
• What if we used it when we traveled?
• What if we used it in case of emergency?

Think about how much you use your cell phone and your bible. Which one gets the most of your time?

What is that smell??

That's what I said when I walked past my refrigerator the other day. I skeptically looked in to find the culprit of the smell. After carefully rummaging around for a bit I found the last bit of a casserole from so long ago that I can't remember what it was to begin with...yeah, that's bad.

Now imagine a pleasing aroma. What comes to mind? A freshly baked cookies, the scent of the ocean, newly brewed coffee, or a cinnamon candle? A pleasant aroma is so powerful that it can bring a smile to our faces and make us feel more positive and even bring back memories. The same is true of our positive attitudes. In our relationships we can be like a fragrant aroma by adopting attitudes that please and reflect Christ. In fact, Paul teaches that we are a "fragrance of Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:15). Consider these pleasing attitudes: thankful, humble, generous, gracious, kind, and cheerful.


"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place." 2 Corinthians 2:14

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..." Philippians 2:5

What do you smell like today?