I'm learning

Over the last couple months I've secretly thought my best days were behind me. That's dangerous.

I would look back at a picture, video or talk about something we did and think, "Man, things were REALLY good back then." "Why didn't anyone tell me to enjoy that more?" "Why didn't I soak in the moment more?"


Years ago I wondered where I would be today...and I got here one day at a time. When I look back, I see how I got from there to here.

That's the thing about life. It's ordinary days strung together, with a few big events in between. It's gradual, slow and sometimes mundane.

So, if I look back and think things were pretty great 10 years ago...2 years ago...even 2 months ago, things must be pretty great NOW, too.

Right?

I'm just so busy in the "now", I don't notice how blessed I am. I don't take extra time for hugs and kind words. I don't realize how many people around me love me like crazy. I don't notice the little impacts God makes through me every day. I don't notice the lingering smiles just because I'm in the room.

I don't notice, because I'm in the now and it's so subtle.

It's more sad though when I look back and THEN I notice...I missed it.

Don't miss right now. Don't miss what God's doing.

What He's teaching you through your current heartache. How He's growing you today. How you have a better attitude today than you did yesterday. How He's maturing you and increasing your compassion. How much your love grows for your family when you're all together.

Today counts...don't miss it.

Winta's Story

On my recent trip to Ethiopia, Africa a dream came true. I got to meet the little 5 year old girl I sponsor through Mission of Mercy, Winta.

This was the biggest thing I was looking forward to on the trip.

I knew I would instantly be drawn to her, but I didn’t realize the instant love that would overtake both of us! I saw her across the way and just knew it was her. I got to introduce myself to her and her Aunt. I gave her a present with all kinds of toys, play dough, hair things, etc. As we were opening it, I was told Winta means “Gift”!

I talked with her about school, her church, her family and what she likes to do. She asked me about my family and my job too. She seemed shy at first and the translator told me she wanted to look at my face but was too shy to. I told her she could stare at me and it would be ok!

Got to color with her, dance, sing and play with her for a couple hours before they had to leave. She was becoming more than a picture on my refrigerator. This was a real child with a real family and a real need.

We took lots of pictures and gave lots of hugs, then they turned to go. Her Aunt came back and through a translator said, “I have to tell you something before we go.” She said, “Winta is an only child and her Mom is a single Mom. She was a prostitute to take care of Winta. Because you sponsor Winta, her Mom no longer lives that lifestyle.”

That’s where I lost it. I just cried and hugged her and said, “It’s because of Jesus!”

I had faith that each month when I send money that I’m helping a child halfway around the world. On this trip and through that conversation, I got a heart-knowledge that God is actively working through the little that I give every month. It’s changing this child’s present, future and changing her family too!

We never know the full extent of what God will do when we’re willing. All the long flights, few hours of sleep, culture shock, etc. was worth it. Seeing firsthand what God is doing through Mission of Mercy, and choosing to do through me, is still blessing me today.

You can make a difference and sponsor a child here: http://www.missionofmercy.org/

The "A" Word

I’m talking about accountability here.

I never thought I would write about this, much less have it be a big part of my life. (Also, the word accountability is so clunky and sounds buttoned up with a tie and jacket. It’s stuffy…but I digress.)

I really don’t want people knowing all my junk. It’s personal. It’s mine.

It’s selfish.

I like to be independent, because let’s be honest, I can handle life on my own, right?

Though that’s crazy, that’s how I tend to think.

How does that cause me to be closer to Christ? If no one knows my weaknesses and checks in once and a while, what stops me from messing up?

Nothing.

It’s obvious that our “wills” aren’t strong enough to choose the right things all the time, that’s why we mess up.

I’ve slowly gotten past the disdain for wanting anyone to check on me daily and have been accountable to a friend for a few months now. We text each other every day when we’ve read and spent time with God. Before this, I usually got it done, but the days I didn’t, I had no reason to make sure it never happened again. I was the only one who knew. I had no plan to move forward instead of having a mediocre, part-time relationship with Christ. Now, I look forward to reading and sharing what God is showing me…EVERY day!

Even though I was apprehensive about having to “report” every day to someone who might find out that I was human and mess up sometimes, I’m pushing past that.

I’m finding that accountability is a HUGE un-tapped resource we have available to us. It’s FREE, and more people want it (and desperately need it) more that they’d ever admit. Even though it can be uncomfortable to start, the rewards are so great! There’s freedom! There’s growth! There’s joy! There’s closer friendships! There’s quality relationships!

Think about who in your church family, small group, etc., is like-minded and would be willing to grow with you in pursuit of Jesus.

If you really want to be closer to Christ- I mean, you really want to be like Him and have every area aligned to Him, find someone asap to be accountable to/with.

Have you even been accountable to/with anyone? How has it helped you?

Waiting...still waiting.

You would think after doing it for over 22 years, I would be good at waiting.

 

Hahahahaha, no.

Not the case.

It’s like I reset overnight somehow.

Doubts creep in.

I forget who I am in Him.

I forget what He’s done & what He’s promised.

As I type this, I realize it sounds silly and it really IS!

I think we all do this. We have a head knowledge that God has an amazing, mind-blowing plan for us- yet our flesh, surroundings and insecurities test us every day. They question the truth that is ours, no matter what.

We forget all the time what God has done and His promises that we know He will fulfill.

Don’t jump the gun. Don’t go on your own whim because you’re tired of waiting. Don’t let your doubt overcome your faith.

So, just as a reminder for today, you’re not forgotten.

He hasn’t changed His mind.

He hasn’t stopped loving you.

He’s not torturing you by waiting. (Though sometimes it feels like it.)

He’s growing you through this and the outcome will be greater the longer you wait.

I’m saying this to myself too; He knows your desires. He knows your heart. He knows the difficulty of waiting. He knows the amazing outcome and joy that’s coming!

Hang on!

What are you waiting on? What reminds you not to give up?

Next destination? Africa.

I’m going to Ethiopia, Africa.

Now, I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to go. Honestly, I’ve never even been on a Mission Trip, so this is all new to me.

I’ve always heard other’s Mission Trip stories of how God used them, changed them and they always had incredible pictures!

Now, I want my own story and I want you to be a part of it.

Yes, I want YOU to travel with me and Mission of Mercy for this crazy, awesome, life-changing, 10-day trip in September. Speaking of Mission of Mercy, I’m so excited we’re working with their experienced team and that they will be there every step of the way!

Please, pray about joining me in Ethiopia this September to go as the hands and feet of Jesus to build a restroom/shower facility, do VBS with the kids, go to an Ethiopian Church and whatever else God wants to do through us there.

If you’ve always wanted your own story, here’s your chance.

More details and sign up info here.

-Jenn

P.S. The day before I heard about this trip, I wrote down this prayer: "Lord, sometimes I'm afraid of letting You have complete control of my life. Show me how to be a "yes" kind of girl, like Mary was, and use me to bring You to others." ...the very next day I was asked to go on this trip. God answers prayers, and specifically too! He'll do the same for you.

I want to ride the cars! (Insert whine here)

I have a temporary brother right now. His name is Christian and he’s 3 years old.

He went with my parent’s to a little fair in town and got to ride tons of rides the other day. When I got there he and my 3 little sisters were having so much fun and had the biggest smiles on their faces.

We had time to ride one more ride. It was a hard decision, but it had to be done.

We went with the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Best ride ever, hands down.

All 4 kids plus 2 of us big kids got to enjoy this wonderful ride. I was with Priscilla (5) and Olivia (2), screaming and laughing the whole time. I felt pretty accomplished getting so many great spins…ahhh, nothing like it.

When the ride was over, we all knew it was time to go.

As we were walking to the car, we were almost home free, but not before Christian spotted an alluring ride. It was the cars.

The sparkly cars that go around in a circle. He couldn’t get it off his mind. He kept asking to ride it, cried over it, threw a fit…he just knew that ride would be all he ever wanted and more!

Needless to say, he ruined his own day because all he could think about was not getting to ride the car ride.

I think we do that with God too.

I do that.

I whine, pout, throw a fit and complain about not getting what I really wanted.

Sure, I got to do tons of other fun things and was blessed so much, but that’s not the point.

I want to ride the car ride! I want that job! I want that opportunity! I want that guy! I want that house!

I wonder how many days or moments I’ve ruined because I was so focused on what I didn’t get.

Too many, I’m sure.

I’m not a little 3 year old; I have no excuse! I know God’s plans are bigger and better than anything I might want for myself. That’s always been true.

I've got to stop looking at that car ride I think is going to be so much fun- besides, it's almost always not what I really wanted.

You've seen that car ride...it just goes around in a circle. Whoop-dee-do.

I'm choosing to focus on the things God is doing around me, in me, through me, and the amazing things to come!


What things cause you to be ungrateful for what God has done or is doing in your life? What is your "Car Ride" that distracts you?

Love Stories

I’m convinced that the best love stories are the ones that take longer to happen.

First, let me say it’s hard to wait. It’s hard to go through life, single, for years and years. There are days that you know that God has a plan and there are some that you wonder if He really knows how you feel.

I’ve been there. I am there.

If I keep going back to the truth though, I can make it that day. His promises can be trusted.

I’ve been reading Ruth’s story again. It doesn’t give a lot of timelines in the story, however. How long she traveled with her mother in law, how long she gleaned with the other girls, etc. It did say she was married for 10 years before her husband died though.

Ten years!

10 years before Boaz even entered the story; this wonderful story.

Speaking of Boaz…oh, Boaz. He’s that guy we all picture, coming in (possibly on horseback or a nice car, with a million dollar smile who is a “man of standing” (See Ruth 2:1) who just happens to be really sweet and down to eart- Sorry…I’m getting carried away.), sweeping us off our feet and causing us to live happily ever after. I’m sure that’s not exactly how their life went, but I’ll save that for a later post.

You might feel the “one” God has promised you, the one you dream about, the one you pray for, your “Boaz”, is probably lost and just won’t ask for directions. If he would just hurry up already, right?

Though, like this story, Ruth was older, had already been married for 10 years, had moved in with her Mother-in-law and was picking up scraps from a field before Boaz noticed her.

It’s not too late for me and it’s not too late for you. We’re in the right place!

God hasn’t forgotten us. He hasn’t changed His mind. His promise still stands.

Hold on to it. Hold on to Him.

Do “All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character”? (Ruth 3:11)

Keep praying. Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep living for and pursuing God.

You never know who might notice you while you’re doing what God has called you to.

Oh, and if you happen to see my Boaz wondering around lost, can you point him in my direction? Thanks.

Oh that? That doesn't apply to me.

"But I tell you who hear me: love your enemies and do good to those who hate you." Luke 6:27

I don't know about you, but when I read scriptures like this one, I try to back up to the beginning and pretend I never read it. Seriously.

Just like how we conveniently don't see the "LIMIT 1 PER CUSTOMER" sign or we check out with 13 items in the "10 ITEMS OR LESS" line at Walmart.

You know you do it.

Sometimes, we just like to act as if certain things don't apply to us when they obviously do (I'm looking at you, lady in front of me who's going to need a team-lift AND a carry-out for your purchase.)

So why don't I want to hear that I should not only just love my enemies (Crazy, right?) but also do good to those who hate me?

I know, "enemies" or "haters" seems like a pretty strong term, doesn't it?

Honestly, I've got a little of both.

I've got people that I like to avoid because they are so hostile toward me, my family, the way I believe, my work, etc.

I've even got people who I would consider more dangerous than "Haters" because they are super nice to my face but as soon as I turn around, they are, well...hateful. They speak negatively about me, tear down my character, attack my choices and all the while think they are getting away with it. If you do that, please stop. You may not see it as a big deal or even classify it as "hating" or "gossip", but please hear me when I say, it is. And it gets back to the person you're talking about too, believe me.

After all of that ugly, nasty, hurtful stuff that is said about me or my family, I'm supposed to do good to them...really?!

That's so backwards to our human nature...our culture, even.

But that's exactly how God treats us. He constantly loves no matter what we do, say, or decide against Him.

And I'm called to be like Him. That's it.

So, to all my enemies and haters: come on in, put your feet up, I'll get you a drink and simply continue to love and do good to you. You sure don't deserve it, but it's what you're getting.


Do you have any haters? How do you handle them?

Squeegee Techniques

I was either being super observant or super bored this weekend...either way, it produced this post - or what could be a tutorial, if you wish.

As my family stopped at a gas station on the way to Wichita, with 4 little kids, 4 years old & under, that ALL had to go to the bathroom...but, of course, each only knew this once one of the other kids finally got back in the car. Yes, that meant 4 trips.

I have no idea why I didn't help, but that's not the point here. :)

The point is that I witnessed something that I had no idea could be done so many different ways.

For your benefit, I've compiled a detailed & pictured list of the different techniques of squeegeeing that I witnessed that one afternoon alone:

"Flick" or "Whip"

This is the "Flick" or "Whip". Very common. Simply, in between each swipe, flick the water on the ground. Really good at getting strangers wet too.

"Mr. I got this Strong-Arm"

Here's "Mr. I got this Strong-Arm" himself. This guy is all business and can press down so hard for each swipe that he's in no need to flick or wipe excess water like a pansy.

"Finger Swipe"

This was a first for me. I thought the guy was being goofy or something, but no, he was all-business too. He seriously thought that a "Finger Swipe" to get the excess water off was the best way to squeegee. Gross.

"Bottom-Top-Bottom"

Honestly, I'm pretty sure the lady who did this had never washed a window in her life. She probably had good intentions, but she squeegeed from the bottom to the top. If you've washed even 1 window in your life, you know that doesn't work. I contemplated helping her, but thought that blogging about it would help more. Don't be a "Bottom-Top-Bottom". Just don't.

"Extendo Arm"

I'm still surprised how serious all these people were about washing their windows. This guy had to get out his "Extendo Arm" to wipe his window vertically. Why? I don't know. You're welcome for passing it on anyway. Someone needs to tell him the phrase every Grandma says, "Work smarter, not harder."

"Halfway Harry"

Oh, "Halfway Harry"...your work ethic appalls me. This guy was either in too much of a hurry to finish his window, or just didn't care enough to finish the job. Either way, I laughed like crazy as he drove off like it was normal to have a half wet windshield. Hilarious.

"Patty"

Finally, there's "Patty". I would be a Patty. It makes sense to cleanly wipe off the excess water and gunk with one of those gas stop napkins that feel like sandpaper. Though, usually the guy before you takes ALL of those just to stock up his glove box, so always have extra in you car just in case.


There you go! Again, you're welcome.

Which one are you? Are there other "techniques" you've seen or done?

This Season

Seasons. We all go through them whether (or weather:)) we like them or not. Winter is my favorite, closely followed by Fall.

There are other seasons we go through too. I've been through a waiting season, dark season, rejoicing season, changing season, trust season, and numerous other seasons.

At some point I can usually name the season I'm going though and it helps me realize what I'm supposed to be doing- EXAMPLE: During the Waiting Season, I should probably be waiting. Probably.

There are times, which right now happens to be one, where I have no clue what season I'm in. Maybe I'm in transition? Maybe it's a good thing I don't know what's going on at all? All I know is I'm clinging on to God more tightly than I ever have before.

Probably putting nail marks in His arm from holding on so tight.

This is a good thing, yes. But I can't tell you how lost I feel.

It's so weird to be talking to God, holding on to Him and seeing Him in everything, but still feel so distant. Like I'm wandering aimlessly, constantly looking up to Him, seeing if I'm getting hotter or colder to where I'm supposed to be.

Above all, I just want to make sure that I'm in the center of His will. So I'm sitting up, watching every move He makes, waiting, looking for Him to say, "Ok, you can come this way now."

I'm listening for Him to say, "Simeon Says, ______", then it's game on!

So, honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm looking to God for that answer in this season.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me and reached out and offered whatever I need. You are incredible and are reminding me of His love everyday.


Been finding refuge in these lately:
"For You are my God, my Savior,and my hope is in You all day long." Ps. 25:5
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29


What season are you in?