Happy New Year...what about the Old Year?

If you ever have a free moment or time for a coffee, hit me up. I've got quite the stories of what God has done in me and my family this past year. I want to hear your stories too!

Sometimes, it's really easy for me to cry out to God, wonder where He is in my current circumstance, only later to look back and see that He was not only there, but He was working! I guess my hindsight really is 20/20.

So, looking back on 2011, or what I like to refer to as "Old Year", I've seen God be patient with me. I've seen Him bless and guide my choices. I've seen Him sustain me. I've seen Him keep 3 precious little girls in our family, ultimately to stay with us forever. I've seen Him through every month, week and even day; doing life with me. Never leaving.

Of course, the cliche` thing to do now is make a New Year's Resolution, right? Ok, then. My silly, crazy, out-of-the-box choice for 2012 is to be a "Classy Vegetarian". What does that mean? Simply, no meat. I've already had people ask legalistic questions like, are you cutting dairy or if 'no meat' includes fish...here's the thing: it's no meat. That's it. Nothing fancy. I already don't eat much meat as it is, so this is just me going all the way.

Feel free to pray for me. Or just take the meat I'm not eating.

I'm not stopping here though. I don't want to be remembered as the girl who didn't eat meat in 2012. Naw, that's not good enough.

Here's what I really want to do in 2012: I want to pursue peace. In every area. In each choice. Every relationship. I don't want things left unsaid, or disagreements left in the air. I want to clear all the spiderwebs of whatever that gunk is between me and other people, but mainly, between me and God.

I want 2012 to be the year I fully embrace Psalm 34:14, "Seek peace and pursue it." Peace with every day, choice, person, especially God.

Remember in the Bible where it talks about that "peace that surpasses all understanding" thing? Yeah, that only comes from God. That's what I'm chasing.

Peace.

Doesn't that sound nice?

If you answered (or thought) yes, jump on board. Run after peace with me.


Come on 2012, give me your best. Give us your best.

Saying Goodbye

I'm terrible at saying goodbye. Terrible.

I don't care if it's friends or family that I'll see the next day, or a random stranger I just met- I'm just awful at saying goodbye.

Granted, I've been to A LOT of funerals in my life. The number of funerals I've been to is at least equal to the number of years I've been alive...so a lot.

Maybe that has something to do with it?

I don't know. What I do know is I dread having to say goodbye to someone. Every stinkin time.

Though, my little sisters are teaching just about everyday how to get over this.

When I say, "Ok, bye." and try to sneak out, at least one of them says, "I WANT A KISS!"

Yep, no matter where we are, you might hear a little girl saying, "WAIT! I WANT A HUG! ...AND A KISSSSS!"

They are so unapologetic. So unafraid to say what they want.

I'm the complete opposite.

I'm working on finding a happy-medium.



Anyway, that's what I'm learning from my family. What are you learning from yours?

Oh, and when I tell you goodbye, I'll try to refrain from yelling, "I WANT A KISS!" No promises though.

What a difference a year makes

A year ago, my house was robbed.

Honestly, it feels like it was last month.

I had just moved into a new place less than a month before, and then the very little that I owned, was taken. Never recovered. Right before my extended family came to my new house for Thanksgiving.

If there's anything in this world that's not right, there's something.

Really, it wasn't so much the stuff. I mean, yeah, I lost anything that had value, but I'm a poor, single lady, with the career choice of a DJ. Not a lot of moolah in my coin purse. :)

The worst thing was thinking about people being in my house, going through everything, and I mean everything. Taking my pillowcases to stuff all my things in and then just walking out my front door like they owned the place.

Somehow God gave me the peace to sleep there THAT night. Granted, I had a giant saw by my bed as a weapon, but that's beside the point.

Everyday, He's worked on me. He's also restored possessions back to me in very odd ways. People just coming out of no where to give me furniture, clothes, jewelry, and electronics.

Even though I lost a lot, I was never in need. He provided just what I needed at just the right time.

The cool thing is, when God restores, He multiplies! See Job 42:10, Exodus 22:1; 22:4, Leviticus 6:5; 22:14, Mark 10:29-30, Ephesians 3:20, even Proverbs 6:31 says,

"Yet when he, the thief, is found, he must restore sevenfold..."

I'm definitely still affected by what happened a year ago, but I can't say enough of how God has provided for my every need (and even some wants!) so much so, that I'm continuously giving things away!

What has God provided for you? How has He blessed you in the last year?

Sitting on the sidelines

Have you heard Mandisa's new song "Waiting for Tomorrow"? Here's the Chorus:

Can't spend my whole life wastin'
Everything I know I've been given
'Cause you've made for so much more than
Sittin' on the side lines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could've been better
Everyday's a day to start over
So, why am I waiting for tomorrow


I love that. Especially the line "You've made me for so much more than sittin' on the sidelines".

You know who sabotages myself more than anyone? Me.

I'll be the first to give you a lengthy list of why I can't do something; why I'm not qualified enough, pretty enough, talented enough...it's easy for me to sit on the sidelines.

I'm also a planner; I like to know what is going to happen when, where, how, etc. I like to play it safe...but that usually means taking myself out of the game and sitting on the sidelines.

Maybe with my decision years ago to wait for "Mr. Right", I've started waiting (or maybe stopping altogether) in other areas too.

That's not necessarily a good thing.

All I know is that I count myself out in almost every situation before I even have a chance to think about it.

Why do I do that?

I've just sat on the sidelines, figuring- no, KNOWING other people would be better at what God was calling me to do or be. The problem is that's just not true. God has called me to a specific plan; it was meant just for me.

The next line of the song is probably just as important: "I don't wanna look back and wonder if good enough could've been better".

Ouch. Wouldn't that stink if I looked back 20+ years from now and wished that I wasn't sitting on the sidelines, although safe, not doing the things I knew God had called me to?


So, here's my first step in everyday choosing not to sit on the sidelines. Get in the game and do what God has called me to, whatever that is.


Join me?

QUESTION:
Where do you need to jump in the "game"?

More Jesus

My mom told me yesterday, "I want more of you."

I started thinking, awe..it has been a while since I've spent time with just my mom. I need to plan some time for us to do something...

Then, this nice thought was shattered by the realization that I was cleaning her kitchen and she was really saying she wanted more Jenns. She was wishing she had chosen to have at least 3 more kids just like me.

Yeah. Great talk, Mom. If only cloning were biblical. If only.


After I got over that, I thought about this coffee mug that's been sitting in my office. It says "More Jesus".

I think we all want more Jesus. Not sure if drinking Him out of a cup really works or not, but it couldn't hurt, right?

How do you get more of Him, though? Seriously. Only go certain places? Wear clothes that have scriptures on them? Blast our Christian rap at the stoplight? See how many times you can say "Can I pray for you?" in a day?

Don't get me wrong, all these things are great...and I do them all, my point is this: is it Jesus memorabilia we have, or actually more Jesus?

See, I don't want to be known for being a good Christian. I don't. That's not what I'm here for.

I need to strive to know Him. To seek Him. To get more of Him. Not little bobble heads of Jesus in every area of my life, but just Jesus in every area of my life.

If I happen to be a good Christian in the process, awesome. Even better.


So how do I, personally, let more of Jesus into more of me? By giving more of me to Him.

That's totally against my human nature, but I'm working on it.

I hope you will too.


Do you have more things with Jesus on them or more Jesus?

Passion: Purity

Something that I've always been passionate about is purity. Honestly, I haven't been as vocal about it in the last few years. No particular reason; I'm still passionate and practicing purity, but I guess I just toned down my bugle horn about it.

Almost 10 years ago, I went through 8 weeks of classes, studying, and completing a course through my church where I ultimately stood up in front of a few thousand people and vowed to stay pure. I was specific in the multiple areas where I would stay pure in my life. This is something I didn't take lightly. I'm sure TONS of churches do this. I'm sure to lot's of tweenies and teenagers after a little while, it's no big deal, but to me, it always has been. I've kept that promise, because I took it to heart and I recommitted it everyday to God. It was, and still is a daily choice.

Now, I'm not perfect, but again, this wasn't something I took lightly. I was a very old 12 year old.

So as I'm coming up on almost 10 years "clean" so to speak, I'm dedicating the next 10 to Him now. I'm planning ahead because I'm a planner and a freak and that's what I do. It's by the grace of God that I am where I am today and 10 years from now I want to be as blown away as I am today, if not more.

I got a ring when I was 12 and I've been wearing it ever since. For this "dedication" I just talked myself into buying a new one. When it arrived, I had to talk myself into actually taking the old one off. It was quite the pep talk. Guess you had to be there.
















So, here's my dedication to my Savior. The God who saved me. Who caught me at a young age. Saved me from having to go through awful things to find Him. Yeah, my testimony is kind of vanilla flavored, but I'm crying as I type this because I'm thinking of all of the good & bad He's brought me through. Just as I'm sure it's true in your life, you have no idea what He's done for me!!


I hope you have a passion for something.

And if it needs to be renewed, don't wait, renew it!

Trust your tongue

A few days ago I was working on moving and decided to have some breakfast. Have to start the day off good, right?

The only food left in my house was some cereal and a little milk. Still a good start, right?

Poured it, had a seat on my living room carpet (since I'm devoid of critical furniture at the moment) said a short prayer, then took a bite.

*DISCLAIMER- Personally, in order for milk to be described as good/edible to me, it HAS to be ice cold, with no chunks. Shouldn't be too much to ask. Well, you'd think.

My first bite wasn't terrible ... until I swallowed.

I was getting over being sick, so apparently my smeller was out of commission. My taste buds however, were not. See, the bitter taste buds are near the back of your tongue. So I didn't have a problem until I swallowed and it went over those "censors".

Though, because I had smelled it and the first part of my bite tasted normal, I kept, very slowly, taking bites.

Something was just not right though. So, I went to brush my teeth, thinking that would help. Went back to my living room carpet and took another bite.

Nope. Now I was sure something was wrong. At this point I'd probably taken about 10 bites.

Even though it didn't smell rotten, it was for sure! The rest of the day I felt sick and worthless. Don't let this happen to you.


There's probably a spiritual parallel for this, but I'm going to let you figure that out. :)


I just had to post this, if nothing else, to tell you to trust your tongue.

Just trying to save you the agony. Seriously.

You're welcome.

2 things I never do.

There are 2 things I never do.

1. Scream.
2. Get mad.

I guess, for some people, those two can even go hand-in-hand! I'm a pretty even-tempered, problem-solving, peace-making person.

That being said, any time I experience one of these things, I tend to hold on to it. Especially if I'm the one who screamed or got mad.

This is probably why I love roller coasters. It's my chance to get some screams out!

However, it's not such a good thing when I get mad. It's almost like when you try something new, it's exciting, you get a rush, it's just a whole new experience!

So, I tend to hang on to that anger for a little bit, to savor it, if you will. I don't do anything destructive or hurtful during this time, more like I keep it inside for a little bit. Usually only ends up being a few hours. Though, I know that time needs to be a lot shorter. Instead of "reveling" in this new-found emotion I never get to use, I have to give it to God and not hang on to it.

Something that's never failed for me, almost like a magic trick, is prayer. No joke, every time I pray, all that anger slides off. Even if I wanted to be mad, I can't! I see the whole situation differently, I'm seeing through God's eyes.

I had one of these experiences last week.

It was a righteous anger. It was seeing people turn their back on God and deliberately living their life like they never knew Him, and I'm supposed to be around them and act like everything is ok?!?! I knew I was going to be around them and I had a few things I had planned to tell them - I just knew they needed to hear it too!

About 20 minutes before I saw them, though, I just crumbled before God. I knew what I wanted to say was stirred by my heart knowing that they don't know Him. It's like someone headed down a road, at 70 mph, with a bridge out at the end. I want to yell at them, "STOP!! TURN AROUND! THIS IS THE WRONG ROAD! YOU'RE GOING TO PERISH!" Even though all of those things would come out of love, they won't listen to it like that.

I've tried all I can with them and I know the only thing left is to focus on my life, living right and seeking Him. Hopefully the light I'm running after will make them want the same for their life. That's the hope I'm clinging to.


What makes you mad? What do you do?

*My church is talking about this, too. What breaks your heart? What are you doing about it? Check it out here: http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch/change-your-world/1

I Love It.

I've been doing worship on a stage on and off since I was about 9. I love it. I love getting lost in praising my God, however I choose...which is usually in singing or just being silent.

Most recently, I've been a part of worship at Life Center (A Part of the LifeChurch.tv Network) for the last few years. I love it. I love leading this new group of people right to the feet of Jesus and showing them what it looks like to worship Him on stage and in my every day life.

I just took about 2 months "off" to simplify my life, get some clarity and focus on where God was leading me next. It was hard, but I had to say no to a good thing, in order to say yes to a great thing. I've come to the conclusion that, for now, God is calling me to stay and be faithful where I am in my life.

Waiting. More waiting.

Yet, through this time I'm being refreshed and I'm ready to come back and worship Him and lead others to do the same very soon! I love it.

One thing I've missed a lot is being around our keyboardist, Ed.

He's hilarious.

I have to make a conscious effort NOT to look at him during worship because of the way he "participates".

Really. He's crazy. I love it. While he's showing that keyboard who's boss, his legs are flailing, his off-key voice is about as loud as the entire sound system and he's got this HUGE grin that could engulf your whole head.

After just about every set, or even practice, he says one of the following:

"I love it."

"This is so much fun...are you sure this isn't sinful?"

"I hope I get to play with you in Heaven."

That last one is my favorite. I love it. Makes me look ahead and long for our eternal home. Makes me get lost in my dreams of what it might be like to not only forever sing about Him, but sing directly to Him - where I can see Him and this huge mass of people singing right along with me. Sounds like the ultimate concert.

I can't wait.

I love it.

-Jenn

QUESTION:

What aspect do you love about worship? How do you worship?

Oh, arrogance. Psshh.

The dictionary defines arrogance as "having disregard for other people."

God has many things to say against arrogant people. He holds all of us in such high regard that anyone who doesn't hold others in a high regard is operating counter to His ideals.

I don't believe that anyone sets out to be arrogant. No one says, "I'm just not conceited enough" or "My goal is to belittle twice as many people today." But yet, it happens all the time.

We become arrogant through the force of our self-perspective.

"I'm older."
"I'm the boss; my opinions matter more."
"I'm richer."
"She's just a waitress."
"I make a bigger difference than he does."

...and so many more.

Make a point, a real effort, today to hold everyone you see in higher regard than you normally would. Go out of your way to think more highly of them than you do of yourself. You might be surprised on how much different your day has been by the end of the day.

"Their arrogance testifies against them." Hosea 7:10


How do you keep from being arrogant and think of others more highly?

I'm No Good.

Have you ever had that thought?

You try and try and find that you're just no good at something?

I have.

For example, my entire family is fantastic at drawing, sketching, painting, sculpting, etc. I'm telling you, you can give them anything to create and they can.

I can barely draw stick people.

I took some classes in high school that helped with the basics, but I don't dare draw around my family because I know I'm no good at art.

Or is it drawing I'm no good at? Yeah, let's change that to "I'm no good at drawing". I can live with that. I've tried, I've practiced and I'm just no good at drawing. Ok.

Now, there's still that word "art" out there...now that, I just might be good at. I've been doing Photoshop for almost 1 year and I'm really enjoying it and getting kind of good (maybe).

That's art, right? I like to work on pictures and I like music...wait a minute, that's art too!

So, yes, I'm no good at drawing, but if I take a step back, I see that I don't have to drop art altogether, because it's not art that I'm no good at; it's drawing.


So, what is it for you?

If you're no good at singing, you can still be good at music.

If you're no good at speaking, you still have a voice and something to say.

If you're no good at making a home run, you can still be good at sports.

If you can't get pregnant, you can still be a parent to someone.


See what I'm getting at? We can't all be good at everything, but you may be good at more than you thought.


What are you no good at?

No More Crazy-Craze

Yesterday was a little crazy-craze.

Not awful; not rip-my-hair out bad...just crazy.

Attitudes were on high alert everywhere I went. People were offended before, during and after talking to me. It was like it was "National Attitude Day" and I didn't get the memo.

I even had someone get upset at me for not "going with" the natural curly texture of my hair that day...and it was a dude who had a problem with it, which is even weirder.

I wanted to get a bugle horn and announce, "IT'S ONLY TUESDAY PEOPLE! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REST OF THE WEEK?"

Needless to say...it was, well, crazy.

All the while though, I couldn't join in. Oh, it would have be easy, believe me. I could have had an attitude and been all offended right back, but I couldn't.

I guess it was a mixture of two things:

1. I saw how irritated, annoyed and miserable they all looked and acted and that just wasn't appetizing.

2. I had already decided how the day was going to go, for me anyway.

You see, in the morning I decided my stance for the day.

"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

I asked for help to have the right attitude.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

I prayed that He would go before me and orchestrate my day.

"You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head." Psalm 139:5

I praised and thanked Him because I had a reason to.

"The Lord has done great things for us! We are glad!" Psalm 126:3

I asked for strength so I wouldn't feel like I was just trying to make through another day.

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord in your strength." Nehemiah 8:10

Also, I knew that this stance for my day would help the things I'm praying for.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart." Psalm 37:4

So start fresh each day. Take a minute right now and ask Him to take over today. Not this week, the upcoming events, the next year, 10 years, etc...just today. Ask Him specifically for help in areas like I've listed above.

Take your stance.

Have an awesome, Frown-free, Attitude-less, joyful day!

What are your must-have elements for a great day?

I am SO humble! Wait, is that contradictory?

Have you ever noticed how extremely hard it is to be humble? It's just so against our nature.

We are "me" focused and we're always "looking out for #1". We do things to get noticed, or to be praised, or to get respect or just to look good. It's easy but that messes everything up, because our motives are wrong.

So, overall, do we do things to be noticed or do we just notice things we can do? Do we do something because we are loved or to be loved?

If we're not looking at what we can get, could we instead look at what we can give? Be more "God focused" rather than "me focused"?

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

-Because I am loved, I can humble myself.
-When I’m trying to be loved, I must build myself up to look better.

-Because I am loved, I can cast all my anxiety on Him.
-When I’m trying to be loved, I cast all my anxiety on my performance.

I'm just so tired of living for me and being surrounded by people who do the same. We may be doing "good" things. We may profess to be a Christian, serve at church, volunteer, etc. but if in the meantime we're not acting like Christ at all...what's the point? Something has to change, right? This won't happen overnight, for sure, but take it one day at a time. Have a "humble sandwich" every day for lunch or something like that...in little bits, we'll get there. We may miss our "Pride Pie" that we usually eat and may even sneak in a few bites of it, but soon, if we keep at it and see how much it's needed, humbleness can become second nature.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

What reminds you to be humble? What's the hardest part for you?

*By the way, I'm still working on this myself :)

Change

I keep looking at this blank space, wanting to write, wanting to update things that are happening and things God is showing me, but ... there's always that "but" isn't there?

Honestly, I am still alive and breathing. I am still growing (hopefully) closer to God.

There's just...

I don't know. God is revealing stuff to me and decisions are coming my way and I'm simply busy. All three of those things are good AND bad.

• God is revealing stuff to me and that's good! But it's also very scary.
  

• The decisions need to be made and could result in a better outcome but they are hard!

• And busyness. Oh, how I hate you and yet I seem to cling to you all the time. You help me do many good things, but you steal from me being able to do greater things.
  

The message I heard this weekend I know I need to listen to again. Actually, the last few weeks have been pretty much a slap in the face. Those messages mixed with what God is telling me, what others are telling me and what common sense is telling me. It's like a "life cocktail" or something.

I always say, "I know, I know..." but I never do anything about it. So, I'm in the process of doing something about it.

No longer just saying I hate being busy, but actually changing that. Not just having a full schedule and therefore can't have time with friends or the potential of any new ones...no, this has to change.

With God's help, I'm working on it. I can't do it on my own, or I would've already. He's helping me prioritize, pray before acting (or writing something on my calendar), and take the time to cultivate the relationships I have and invest in new ones.

This is scary, unknown and seems impossible. Yet, I know nothing is impossible with Him and He'll help me succeed.

I'm not trying to be dramatic by any means but I am trying to make a deliberate change by taking strategic steps.


What do you need to change?

I've gotta get married...quick!

Do you ever see emails or commercials like this?

Wow! Such a great deal! I need to get right on this.

Honestly, I've only thought that sarcastically.

I mean, really? Surely, they've done their research and think this has to be a good ploy to sell more, right?

Let's say you were about to get married...would you see this and go, "Oh yeah, I need to get one of those." or "Oh! I almost forget I needed a dress!"

I think not.

Who does that leave? All the ladies in the world who aren't about to get married and every man on the face of the Earth.

So, I ask, who does this help?

Are these the kind of things people plan their proposals around or the season they get married in?

I hope not.

Now that I've got you wondering, I wish I had an answer for you. But I've got nothing. These don't make any sense to me. Maybe someday they will. Right now, they just make me think that I could get a gorgeous dress cheaper, then not have anywhere to wear it. Genius.

Have you ever known someone who bought a wedding dress because they saw a commercial?

You're Worth It

There's a new song we've started to play at The House FM & My Praise FM called "Someone Worth Dying For" by Mikeschair. The whole band has a really cool heart and makes awesome music, but this song stuck out to me. Honestly, it's pretty simple and things we've all heard before. But, if you're like me, you haven't taken it to heart...or you forget it easily.

Yes, we've heard the stories, the fact that the Creator of the Universe loves us but every time I hear that I automatically think "as a whole". You know, He loves all of us. The breakthroughs and strengths, though, come when we realize it's a personal thing. That's heavy.

He loves you. He died for you. He thinks you are thebomb.com. He thinks you're worth the effort.



Here's the lyrics:

You might be the wife, waiting up at night
You might be the man, struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you're the son, who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl, thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

I know you found the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just keep asking, oh what everybody's asking

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe

I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know

Yeh I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for

You're worth it, you can’t earn it
yeah the cross has proven,
that you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

And you are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
Are someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for



Do you feel worth it? How do you remind yourself, daily, that you're worth dying for?

10 (fun) things to do at Walmart

Let me first say, I don't necessarily condone these things that are about to be presented...though they would be hilarious.

1. Set a bunch of alarm clocks to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares...and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
4. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
5. Set up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
6. When a worker asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
7. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
8. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
9. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
10. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

So, there you go. Again, maybe not the greatest ideas, but they would be oh so funny.

What's the weirdest thing you've done in a Walmart?

Do you have a "list"?

^{Do you have standards? Sure you do, right? How firm are they though? Can they be swayed by a good argument or enough begging? I hope not. Your morals, standards, beliefs...that's what sets you apart and help you stay on the right path. We all have those "lists", even if just in our minds, of what we will and won't put up with; what we will and won't be a part of. Maybe we should follow David's example, though, and write it out. Like in Psalm 101:2-8, make a proclamation; our manifesto:}

² I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?

I will conduct the affairs of my house
with a blameless heart.
³ I will not look with approval
on anything that is vile.

I hate what faithless people do;
I will have no part in it.
⁴ The perverse of heart shall be far from me;
I will have nothing to do with what is evil.

⁵ Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret,
I will put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
I will not tolerate.

⁶ My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
the one whose walk is blameless
will minister to me.

⁷ No one who practices deceit
will dwell in my house;
no one who speaks falsely
will stand in my presence.

⁸ Every morning I will put to silence
all the wicked in the land;
I will cut off every evildoer
from the city of the LORD.

He clearly said I will not be a part of:

• Vile things
• Faithlessness
• Perversity
• Evil
• Slander
• Pride & Haughtiness
• Deceit
• Wickedness

Ultimately, you will get what you value. Value good things, and say no to things that destroy.

To keep a good character, what are the things you refuse to be a part of? What's your "list"?

The "Wower" of the Weekend!

A couple weekends ago I went to Fort Worth for the Passion 2011 Conference. It was incredible in so many ways, but the HUGE wower of the whole thing for me was...(drum roll) Kristian Stanfill!!



I love him! Well, his music that is. :)

Seriously, worshiping with him was so great. You could see his heart and love for God. And I love that the songs he sang weren't just about what God has done, or is doing, etc. They were about Jesus. That's it. Just who He is.

So, I'm in love with Kristian Stanfill...or at least his music. You should check it out! kristianstanfill.com

Getting Set Up

Ok. I know what this feels like. Maybe you do too.

Someone you know says, "Hey! You should meet so-and-so! You'd be great together!" or something similar.

My instant reaction is to close up, disappear and maybe they will forget they were even talking to me. One time I literally got under my desk while this guy told me about a guy I'd be good with. No joke. There were witnesses.

Last weekend Francis Chan (at Passion 2011) talked about this very thing. His family had a young lady living with them. After a few years he thought, "We need to get her married off."

She was a good sport and would do just about anything Francis came up with. He'd introduce her to all kinds of guys and never missed an opportunity for a possible relationship.

One time, he told her, "Ok, there's a plumber coming over today. I want you to go make some brownies and at just the right time, come out with them and act surprised that we are there."

And...she did! Though, every "set-up" that Francis tried one of them would be like, "Yeah, she's great!" or "He's ok..." He just couldn't make them fall in love. No matter how many times you set-up just the right scenarios, you can't make someone fall in love.

He related this to Jesus. Sometimes we try to bring someone to church, maybe even on a weekend where they are giving away free stuff, showing a movie, etc. We try to live our lives in a way that makes them want it. Granted, yes, we should live our lives in a way that reflects Him and makes others want it. But, you can't make someone fall in love with Him. It has to be their decision. They have to "get" it.

They may say, "Yeah...He's nice..." Then we're like, "Really? That's it? Don't you see what I do?"

So, our role is to stop setting people up. Seriously...you can't make love happen. When they have a real encounter with God, their eyes & hearts will be opened. We just need to focus on our relationship with Him. He's not just an idea, a nice story, but a person. Whom we love and have a personal relationship.


Oh, and that girl found a guy on her own and they are expecting a child soon.

This is ridiculous

I went to Passion Fort Worth this weekend and was so refreshed! It would take at least 1 book to explain what happened and what God showed me personally, not to mention the other 11,000 people who were there as well and what happened to them.

I heard amazing worship from some of my favorites: Chris Tomlin, Christy Nockels, Kristian Stanfill, Charlie Hall, David Crowder & even LeCrae! All of these people inspire me.

I heard moving stories and sermons from Francis Chan, Louie Giglio (My fav) and John Piper.

I made some awesome friends, which I didn't think would happen, and I'm hoping some of them will be lifelong.

I'll blog more later about Francis Chan's story about setting people up & God's love for us. I'll talk about the 1 person who gave me the "WOW!" factor of the weekend. I'll share Louie's awesome message about carrying Jesus' name.

I could tell you countless things about all of that, but what it comes down to is...Jesus.

Something was mentioned about what God thinks of us & I realized I need to let that sink in. Not just have head knowledge of it, but to "get" it, in my heart. Here's the list I came up with in about 3 minutes:

You love me, personally.

You are crazy about me.

You love EVERYTHING about me.

You love being around me.

You love my laugh.

You think I'm beautiful.

You believe in me, even when I don't.

You love my voice.

You love when I sing to You.

You think I'm gorgeous.

You know me.

You think I'm enough.

You think I'm smart.

You see HUGE potential in me.

You listen no matter how long I talk.

You love me when I mess up.

You love me when I'm simply a mess.

You love me when I don't love me.

You love me when I question You.

You are my biggest fan.

You still have a plan for my life when my life is falling apart.

You are beside me when I wonder where You are.

You are my friend when no one is friendly.

You make everyday more than good.

You are my joy.

You inspire me.

You forgive me, every time.

You are my source & provider.

You will always be my home.


Man, it takes me a whole day just to let ONE of those sink in! And then the next day I have to learn it all over again, like I have short-term memory loss!

Yet, everyone of them is true. For me. For you.

Look at the list again. It's ridiculous! It really is. Who else is all of that and more? I only know One.


What do you need to grasp from this list? What do you need to add to it?

So it's that time of year again...

...that time when your age adds a number.

My birthday is 1 week from today. I've never NOT looked forward to a birthday before...until now. Yes, I'm excited to celebrate my life, look at how God has blessed me and is using me, but I'm not excited for the only thing associated with being 21. For the first time, I want to go into hiding on the day of my birth. No, really, I do.



I'm not scared, just tired of the "jokes" and comments about partying, drinking, being crazy for one night, etc.

Excuse me, I'm sorry, but do I live a life that looks like I'd be into that kind of thing? Tell me the truth. Yeah, that's the stereotypical thing most people do...but I'm not most people.

So, yes, I get it. I understand turning 21 brings more temptations and people just expect and are ok with you doing certain things, but no thanks.

Don't get me wrong, I want to party like nothing else and enjoy myself for sure...just not like that.

This is one of my favorite scriptures, which relates very well to this:

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to it's level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." Romans 12:2

Sorry, but when it comes to turning 21, it's just another birthday. So...Happy Birthday to me :)

You are enough

I have something really important to tell you today. Lean in close. Let this get past your self-doubts and into those open, assurance-seeking places of your heart...

God is absolutely crazy about you!

Yes you. The beautiful one sitting there looking at the screen.

I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but it's true. You fill God's heart with absolute joy and every day you take His breath away with your smile.

Just a slight glance in His direction makes Him pause. He loves the unique way you do things. He really enjoys watching others love on you and bring out His best in you. And He's not critical of your mistakes like you sometimes think, or waiting for you to do something productive. He simply delights in you because you are His. And that is enough.

You are enough.


Oh, and if you are a guy reading this, you can reread this and replace "beautiful" with 'handsome", if you'd like :)

Brains or Upturned Lips

In every movie I watch, I try to guess what will happen next & how it will end before it comes. I've gotten pretty good at it, too. See, I can't stand not knowing what's coming! I always thought I liked surprises, but I've recently found out that I really don't. Maybe I just like surprising other people better.

With that being said, today I was trying to "guess the ending" of my life. I play all these scenarios in my head & I've got to admit, some of them look pretty nice!

After I played this little game in my head for a while, I was frustrated once again because nothing in the real world had changed. I kinda threw up my hands and said, "Alright, God...once again, I know, I need to give this to You and just let you take over. But- can he just be either REALLY smart or REALLY funny?* That would be good. Thanks." (*Thus the title "Brains or Upturned Lips.")

See, I figure if he's really smart then we can be rich, make good choices, etc. and just have an all-over good life. If not, at least let him be hilarious so when life is hard, we can at least laugh along the way! One of those should be good, right? Oh...silly, I know.

It sounds good in my head, but when I say it out loud, I kinda look back at myself and say, "Really? Wow...you're crazier than I thought."

So, lately I've been frustrated. Really frustrated. And...it's all my fault. It also doesn't help that we're less than a week away from Valentines Day and this is on my mind more than usual. (DISCLAIMER: I don't hate Valentines, per say...I just don't love it. At least right now.)

Just thinking about what is to come; everything I don't know. I'm trying to speed up God's timing and it's just not working out. I feel more confused than I have in a LONG time. See, the "deal" I told God about him being either smart or funny sounds ridiculous and pretty much like I'd be willing to settle because I'm tired of "keeping face", going against the tide, etc. And in all truth, I'm not ready to quit! I'm not ready to give up on God and say, "Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take it from here." I hope I never get to that place.

I know, I've got to give it up. The thing is, it's a daily process. I have to remind myself everyday of what I already know, because apparently I have short-term memory loss.

He has great plans for me! Greater than I can guess, even.

What truth/promise do you need to be reminded of?

What you fear reveals what you value the most

Also, what you fear reveals where you trust God the least.

Ouch.

I heard this message this weekend about fear called "I Quit: Fear". At first I thought, "Eh, no big deal...I don't really have fear in my life."

I was wrong.

Pastor talked about this lady who feared losing her husband all the time; either by death or just leaving. She was so consumed by it. It's all she thought about & she just worried all the time. She finally wrestled about it with God. She kept saying, "What if this happened?" She felt like God asked her back, "Yeah? What if?" Then she went down the 'What if" trail. "What if my husband died? What if he left me?"

"Well, I guess I wouldn't get dressed for a month & I would just cry and cry and cry."

Then God said, "Uh-huh, then what?"

"Ummm, I probably wouldn't get dressed for another month."

"Ok, then what?"

"I guess at some point I'd cry and run to You and You would restore me. You'd help me get through it one day at a time."

"Exactly."

This struck me for some reason. I just don't let my mind go down the 'What if' trail. That's too scary. It's like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. Too many loose ends; too many things can go wrong; too much pain. So I avoid it.

This weekend I made myself go down that trail, though.

What if I keep living life like this? What if I keep working all the time as life passes me by? What if I keep doing a "good" thing and miss out on a "great" thing? What if I keep acting like everything is ok and I'm fine when I'm not? What if in the process of convincing myself that I'm not beautiful that everyone else starts to believe it? What if I get content going down the highway of life and miss the exits I need to take to stay in His will? What if everyone keeps trying to "encourage" me with "When you stop looking, that's when he'll come" or "Maybe you should say yes more or lower your standards because they're just too high" or "Maybe God wants you single forever"? What if I actually meet someone that is ok but I miss the red flags that he's just not it; that he's only in this because of what I do or who I know? What if God brings that right man and I freak out? What if I never meet someone who loves me for me ... and that's it?

Told you it was scary.

I guess my fear is ending up alone. So, that reveals that I value relationships and marriage in general. It also reveals that I don't fully trust God with this.

Why?

He's big enough. He loves me. He's even gave me a promise years ago that He would take care of this area of my life! And yet, I still cling to it; like I can do a better job...yeah right.

But, just like the lady who feared losing her husband, the ending is the same. God's got this! This doesn't mean we won't experience some of our fears or go through hard times, but it does mean that He's with us the whole time and we don't have to go it alone. He will sustain us, pull us through and help us one day at a time.

So, I'm in the process of letting go.

What's your fear? Where do you need to trust God?

If you think something nice, say it!

I heard this in a sermon a while back. I always liked it; thought it was a catchy phrase & a great idea. I never took it to heart though.

Until recently.

There's a little girl in my life. Precious, 3 year old Krista. Every time I see her, and I mean every time, she touches my hair, combs it, smells it, says things about it. Every time. Even her little 2 year sister touches it every time now and says, "Your hair!" I finally asked Krista why she always says stuff about my hair and touches it, etc. She stood really still, frowned a little and said, "Because it's beautiful." (All the while stroking my hair.)

Wow. What a compliment from a 3 year old.

After she said that, she just kept touching my hair and looking at me. Man, some days I wish I could see through her eyes. See the beauty that she obviously sees in me. She's not afraid to tell me that my hair is beautiful or my eyes are pretty or that I'm funny...she just says it. She observes something and wants to make sure I know it.

Why can't I do that?

I talk myself out of saying things like that. I think something nice and before I let it escape my mouth, I stop myself and think, "What if that makes things really awkward?" or "She already knows that" or "That won't make that big of a difference."

Maybe I've missed out on a lot. All I know is I'm working on it. With Him, I'm stepping out of stopping kind things from escaping my mouth and missing opportunities.

Ever notice how after someone dies, you think of everything you wanted to tell them? Don't let that happen.

Start now - if you think something nice, say it.