Joy to the World?

"I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11

Do you ever have days where someone tries to rip the joy right out of your life?

I do.

And it's really hard. It's a battle. The good girl part of my brain says, "Be nice. Honor Jesus with your actions. Your response is your responsibility. Self control, Jenn, self control."

But the mean girl part of my brain says, "How dare they act that way! I'll show them."

One part of me says fold your hands in prayer.

But another part of me says throw your hands in the air and throw a good old fashioned hissy fit.

Issues.

I have them. Maybe most of us girls do. Especially that one special week a month.

But God.

I love how those two words interrupt me. Redirect me. Remind me. Comfort me. Battle the mean girl in me. And cause me to pause.

Pause. Just for a minute, pause. And it's in that pause where we give the Holy Spirit room to interrupt the mean girl response just dying to come out and bloody the situation.

The Holy Spirit says, "Jenn stop and think. It might feel good in the minute to scream, retaliate, pitch a fit and flood the situation with emotions. But it won't feel good in the long run. It will feel awful in the long run. You'll feel the sting of regret. Come on Jenn... be rare. Be a girl who looks ahead and determines to do what's best in the long run."

Yes, it stinks that this other person is determined to steal my joy.

It really does.

But in reality, my joy can only be stolen if I let it be stolen.

In John 15:10-12 Jesus says, "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Several things struck me as I read this verse. In each interaction I have with others, I'm faced with the choice to either remain in God's love or retreat from God's love. I can't control how this other person is acting towards me. But I can control how I act and react. If I chose to remain in God's love and react to this other person kindly, it affects my joy. Jesus interjects His joy right into the heart of a kind person. If I make the choice to be kind, instead of my joy being depleted, it will be completed.

So back off mean girl part of my brain. The Jesus girl in me is taking over. And holding on to every ounce of joy that's rightfully mine. Circumstances can steal stuff from me. But not my joy.

And all Jesus' girls say, "Amen and amen!"

This sounds so good in this moment, doesn't it? But it will not be easy when I have an interaction today or later this week with "that person" ... the one who makes my mean girl want to come out. God is the only one who can help us remember the truths in His word & remind us not to let them steal our joy. Maybe you'll be around someone like this for Christmas...just know, they can't steal your joy! (Also, we have the privilege to give this joy too!)

Something BIG that I'm ok with now

My whole life I've wanted to be a wife & Mom. My whole life. So, all this time I'm waiting, praying, growing until I become that. (And hopefully becoming more prepared in the process!)

I've been known to drive around on random evenings or on the weekends through nice neighborhoods, imagining my life to come...the 2-story house, perfect grass, 2-car garage, kids in the front yard, etc. These have always been happy days for me, just dreaming of the future.

Until recently.

I'd drive by these same houses, think of a guy in my life that I'm praying about, then get really really discouraged. I'd think, man, this guy is awesome, we'd be so happy, he'd be a great leader, he'd love our family; we could really build a life in a house like this...then reality would sink in that his choice of career (or an accident, family illness, or whatever) may never allow us to have something like this; or even remotely close.

I know, you're thinking, "How worldly. It's not about a big house!"

I know, you're right. It's not. It never really has been - it's just subconsciously been a part of "the dream" for so long, it's hard to change it now.

I think it comes down to I want a quality life. A life that matters; where the house is large enough, the kids have enough room; there's just more space and less chance of hard times & heart aches.

So, for a couple weeks now I'd drive by houses thinking, "Nope, that house is too nice, that one too...and yep, even that one."

How pitiful.

I'm seriously not that superficial that I'm looking for a guy who can provide a huge house or living a certain way. Honestly, I could care less. Like I said, it's just the dream I've had playing in my head for so long. Who knows? God could bless me with that someday after all.

But that's not the point. The point is that I actually cried about this whole, dumb, house thing this weekend!

Yeah, I cried.

I finally yelled out in the car, "WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT??"

(Good thing I was alone in the car.)

Maybe you just have to be a girl? Maybe you have to have the same "dream" as me to understand?

I don't know if this makes sense but God changed my heart when it comes to this now. Somehow I was able to let it go, give it to God, and forget about it. The desire is no longer there. Strange, right?

In the end I know that He will provide for me no matter what. No matter what, He needs to be enough.

So, that's what I'm working on. Focusing more & more on Him everyday & realizing He's enough. More than enough, actually.

A few things you need to know about us ladies...

Something that I'm still working on is really believing. Hang with me here for a second. I mean really believing something that someone says. I hear, "You're awesome!", "You're doing a great job!", etc. The thing is...it takes a few times for me to actually take that in and hear it. Maybe it's a mental problem. Maybe it's a hearing problem. Maybe it's just being a girl.

Guys are kind of know for being clueless sometimes and don't pick up on "hints" that we might send their way. We're just as bad! We don't hear or see them loving us everyday! I can't stand stereotypes but this is something I've seen more than once. Why is it that as ladies we don't let it sink in that we are loved by the Creator of the universe?? He made all that we see & is all powerful and yet He loves us, through all of our faults, every day.

Maybe I'm not being clear. You are loved. You get that? Even if you don't feel like it. Even if your day started with stepping in dog poo, cleaning cereal out of little pig-tails, cranking up the radio over the screaming in the backseat, throwing your back out while trying to buy dog food, voicing your opinion when you should have kept your mouth shut and ended in slamming your own thumb in the car door. No matter what you did or are doing - you are loved right now.

I tend to be stand-off-ish of compliments and I'm not sure why. I'm just a little wary and it makes me wonder why someone would choose to say something like that. Do they want something? Are they trying to smooth-talk me? When I write this down, it sounds dumb & really paranoid. But it's true! I think that's why I struggle with this from God. I carry this over that He has no reason to say something nice about me or to me.

Yet, I'm learning each day that He does.

He's madly in love with me. He's madly in love with you.

He can't help it. You're wonderful, you're His child that He cares for more than you'll ever know.

Here's the best part - there's no way you can escape His love! You can't run far enough, mess up enough. On this, that's the difference between God and man. In life, I'll be too paranoid or whatever and not believe it when people say nice things to or about me, and I'll miss out on a great display of love being dropped in my lap. Maybe they'll give up. Decide it's not worth it to build someone up, only for them to shake their head & be suspicious. But God, He's not gonna give up. He'll continually tell you that you are beautiful, unlike any other, precious, and endlessly loved.

Maybe right now, go find a mirror and pick something that God is telling you - "You are beautiful, You are loved, You are forgiven, etc." Say it 5 times & let it sink in.

I hope this helps today. I hope you let it sink in that He loves you, with all your faults & insecurities. That's not going to make Him shy away like people would. He's constantly by your side, wanting to live life with you.


The song "Don't you know You're beautiful" is awesome from Seabird. Also, I heard this song this morning from Tenth Avenue North called "You are More" and it says:

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

In life, people seem surprised, "Don't you know? Don't you see what a difference you're making?" Sometimes the truth is, "No, I'm not seeing what you see."

The only way to change that is to look at ourselves through Christ. He sees beauty. He sees a hard worker. He sees his daughter, His beloved.

Sorry, there's nothing you can do to change His mind.


**Side note for the guys: Be patient with us. We need you. We need you not to give up on us. We need you to believe in us, and tell us that! We need you to confirm these things that God says about us. We don't have it all together ... I know, shocker. :)

Because I said so!

I just came back from a week long vacation...with 3 girls...3 & under...!

Just in case you didn't know, 3 year olds have A LOT of questions! Sometimes it's a fun, enlightening experience. Other times it's embarrassing and makes me shake my head!

Sometimes when we tell her to do something, she'll say, "But why?"

She wants to understand our plans, motives, and reasons for everything. If she doesn't understand the logic of something she has a hard time accepting it. She loves us and truly wants to please us, but she wants to know why before she obeys.

She's usually obedient, once she's heard our reasons. Nonetheless, in response to her questioning I often want to use that infamous phrase: "Because I said so!"

I wonder if God ever wants to use that phrase with me?

God is infinitely more patient than I am, and He is abounding in grace and love. He can easily handle all my questions without exasperation. But I wonder if He wishes I would just simply trust and obey - just because He is God.

The scriptures say: "Do what your king commands; you gave a sacred oath of obedience. Don't worryingly second-guess your orders or try to back out when the task is unpleasant. You're serving his pleasure, not yours. The king has the last word. Who dares say to him, 'What are you doing?' Carrying out orders won't hurt you a bit; the wise person obeys promptly and accurately" (Ecclesiastes 8:2-5, MSG).

I want to be that wise person.

So my goal today is not to question God but simply to trust and obey...even if I don't understand why, and even if it's hard to do. I will accept the way that I am made and the plans that He has set before me.

Yes, I know I can take all my questions to the Lord and He will lovingly sift through them, but today I want to obey His commands in swift, willing obedience - just because He said so.

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands." 2 John 1:6a

Being Single

A friend texted me last night & said "check out 1 Corinthians 7!!!" I looked it up & I knew it had been too long since the last time I read that chapter. If you haven't read it in a while, or at all, and you are single ... you need to.

I think it sounds a bit like Paul is trying to cover himself when he says it's better to be single ... but it's ok to be married, but it's good to be single, but it's good to be married ... kind of like he's arguing with himself ... but I understand where the guy is coming from.

A few parts that stuck out to me: verse 27, "If you are married, stay married. If you are not married, don't try to get married." Not a lot of gray area in that scripture. In verses 29-31 it basically says the world is coming to an end & it doesn't matter how happy you are here - this is not our home. God's coming back & it won't matter if you're married or not.

In verse 35 it says, "...I want to help you to live right and to love the Lord above all else." That was Paul's heart & entire message.

I needed to read this chapter again ... and probably again and again! It is easier to focus on serving God & following Him completely when you're not distracted by trying to make someone else happy. It makes sense. Still, I'm hoping this is not forever! Right now, I'm following the words of Paul & seeking to please & glorify God ... hopefully along the way I'll catch the attention of someone with the same priorities. Ironically, I had yet another person try to set me up with a guy today ... oh, the timing of all this. Humorous.

Praying

Lately, I've been praying really 'blunt' prayers, so to speak. Not much structure to them, just talking to Him, like a friend, and blurting out whatever I'm dealing with or thinking about. When I say it out loud, it tends to have a bigger impact on me.

Like I'll look around or at the ceiling & say,

"God, I'm really sick of being alone"

or

"God, I feel like I'm the only one still wanting to do right"

or

"God, I don't think I can do this anymore...I just don't know."

Just talking, out loud, to God with what's going on & allowing Him to speak to me & change my thinking. I hear the enemies lies when I speak out loud what I'm feeling, AND THEN I allow God's truth to come back in.

You don't have to put on a face for God. Like you've got everything put together, like you can handle it and you'll just "ration" out what you think God can or would handle concerning you today.

Let it all hang out! Tell God what's going on ... and then let Him handle it.

A car of your choice!

I had a dream a few nights ago ... could've been the pain meds from getting my wisdom teeth removed ... could've been God. I'm betting on at least a bit of both.

A friend and I were at a Dodge/Chrysler lot, just looking around. The manager came over to us and said "See that pile of keys over there? Go pick one, hit the panic button & the car that sounds is yours!" We were shocked. Of course, we ran right over - grabbed a set of keys and went outside to find our new cars. For some reason ours were right next to each other. Mine was a dodge car, not too fancy. Weird creamy color with bad red trim. His had a great red finish but was a funky shape (Don't ask...). My first thought was to look around, see if I could run back inside and pick a different key without the manager noticing. My friend & I decided to take a stroll around the lot to see if there were any others & just plan to talk to the manager if that were the case. We didn't see any we liked better but by the time we got back around to where we started, the ones we had the first pick to were gone! We were in such disbelief. People were taking off everywhere in new, free cars like they couldn't get out of the parking lot fast enough & here we were critiquing the 2 we were given.

Our hearts sank at what we lost & we left empty handed.

I've been thinking about this dream for a few days, really uneasy about it. Am I that ungrateful? Am I that close to situations that I can't step back and see, first of all, I'm being given a blessing? A free car is being given to me & I can't look around quick enough to find one in a better color? It makes me wonder what I've missed. How many things have I passed by, relationships overlooked, or blessings have I given back?

Why should I get the luxury of picking the color of my blessing?

I can't think of a particular thing that I have handled in this way, but maybe that's just it. I can't help but feel a sense of loss ... embarrassment even to think that I would act that way. Maybe that's why a few of my prayers seem to go unanswered? Maybe I just didn't like what God was offering. It makes me sick to think that I've gone around "the lot", even if just once, to see if there was anything better, only to leave empty handed.

What to say?

Struggling to know what to say to that cute girl sitting 2 rows ahead of you with her head in her new pink, sparkly NIV Bible? Look no further! Maybe try one of these:

1. “nice bible.”

2. “is this pew taken?”

3. “for you i would slay two Goliaths”

4. “i would go through more than Job for you”

5. “when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you.”

6. “you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you.”

7. “shall we tithe?”

8. “i didnt believe in predestination until tonight.”

9. “i believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”

10. “i went on a mission trip, but all I ended up doing was mission you.”

11. “can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?”

12. “now i know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.”

13. “bathsheba had nothing on you”

14. “your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead”

15. “so, can i clothe you in righteousness?”

16. “how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?”

17. “so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?”

18. “i’m a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you’re a proverbs 31 kinda woman…”

19. “i consider myself to be fisher of women. this would be referred to as “casting my net”.”

20. “i have familiarised myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, i invented 4 of them.”

21. “i predicted David over Goliath… now I’m betting on you and me.”

22.. “if you were a leper, i would still hold your hand.. even if it wasn't attached.”

Ok, so maybe you shouldn't use these. Sadly, I've gotten some of these! What's the strangest line you've ever heard...or used?

Answers and Peace

I just finished a 7 day fast. It's been a while since I've done that. Every once and a while I'd do it for a day or two just for some clarity and to pause life for a bit. This time I didn't just want to pause - I wanted change. I went into this expecting God to reveal Himself & to give me some answers in a few specific areas. I felt kinda stuck. Like I am so blessed and overwhelmed with good things but I needed to know what to do next. (I'm good with lists & tasks - just tell me what to do!)

That's where God comes in. He's been faithful, so why should this time be any different? The ongoing hard thing that I battle every day is waiting. I know His ways are not my ways & His timing is perfect...but year after year (after year, after year...) goes by; I'm just so ready for God's promises to come true. 20 years is a long time to wait, and it makes me wonder - how much longer?

So, I decided to fast for a week and seek God on this, full throttle. It amazes me every time how much closer to God I get & how much easier it seems to be to talk to & trust Him. I have more time & He gives me the energy I need. On the second night, I cried out to God (literally did this about every day.) to show me what He wanted me to do, to guide me. I prayed about a few specific things, and just stopped talking. (Do ever get tired of hearing your own voice?) I just sat there, eyes closed, waiting on God. Then I said, "I just need peace." Instantly, I felt kind of light headed - not sick, but like a weight had been lifted and my whole body felt like it was floating. I got exactly what I asked for, peace.

He wasn't done either! On the 5th day, there was something stirring in me. I was really restless and just burdened. (Leading worship, I was probably too much.) I was really challenged to change & I wanted others around me to catch this fire too. God is giving me a renewed passion for Him, but that's not all He did.

I went to the movie "To Save a Life" that afternoon and that was the breaking point. Everything just came together and cemented what God was already doing in me. After the show, I just needed to get away and talk to God alone. I went to the park and I sat there for 30 minutes talking to God and letting Him change me. I just didn't want to stay the same. It's really hard to explain, but God just opened my eyes to see them in the way He does. I see how valuable each person is. Not just the people we think are cool, or need help, or we get introduced to, or whatever. Everyone. That's who we're called to tell about Christ. I cried there about the whole time and allowed God to change my heart, deeply. I saw the error of my ways in multiple areas. I had the overwhelming need to ask forgiveness from people.

The really surprising thing that He did in the midst of this week was renew my strength to carry on, to wait. He's amazing like that. Just about every time when I think, "I just can't do it anymore! Am I ever going to get married?" God steps in and somehow removes that completely and gives me peace & helps me rest in Him. It's at those moments that I honestly feel like I could stay there forever. I could just sit in the park for years; no food, no shelter, no guy, no showers (gross), with Him, like that, so intimate. Like my best friend who lets me let it all out, then goes in and fixes everything in me. He focuses on me, like I'm the only one in the room. Let's be honest, that's what we all want - we just normally look for that in other people.

Anyway, I'm still a work in progress - I'm human, I'm flawed, but I'm a beautiful mess! He's so awesome to be willing to keep picking me up and giving me the strength I need to live for Him. This change has been radical for me, that's just what I prayed for. Hopefully you'll have the boldness to simply ask God to change you. Be willing. Be specific. Be all-in. He will if you allow Him to.

I prayed a few specific things (waiting, way of living & about a few people) and then some others things that I was concerned with like not to let me get comfortable, to be radical for Him - no matter who looks on in a disapproving way or pokes fun. My confidence is in Him, not the very lacking compliments I get...which I have a hard time receiving, anyway (weird, I know.).


He, like always, has gone above and beyond what I've asked Him to. He met me right where I was and changed me. He can do it in you too. If you're ready, feel free to pray this daring prayer:

Lord, I'm being faithful. I'm holding on to You. I'm reminding You right now of Your promises and I'm expectant that You will fulfill them in Your time. Help me to wait even more. Give me peace. Help me continue to rest in You every day. Help me continue to go against the ways of this world & strive after you. Swimming against the current gets tiring after a while. Strengthen me, God. I'm keeping my focus on You - it's You I'm chasing after instead of the next gadget, promotion, guy, car, wad of cash, etc...it's just You. At the end of the day, I commit again, that if You never bless me with the things I long for - I will still love You. I will still serve You. I will still tell others of Your goodness. You are faithful, help me to be more like You.

Bible vs Cell Phone

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

• What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
• What if we flipped through it several times a day?
• What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
• What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
• What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?
• What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
• What if we used it when we traveled?
• What if we used it in case of emergency?

Think about how much you use your cell phone and your bible. Which one gets the most of your time?

What is that smell??

That's what I said when I walked past my refrigerator the other day. I skeptically looked in to find the culprit of the smell. After carefully rummaging around for a bit I found the last bit of a casserole from so long ago that I can't remember what it was to begin with...yeah, that's bad.

Now imagine a pleasing aroma. What comes to mind? A freshly baked cookies, the scent of the ocean, newly brewed coffee, or a cinnamon candle? A pleasant aroma is so powerful that it can bring a smile to our faces and make us feel more positive and even bring back memories. The same is true of our positive attitudes. In our relationships we can be like a fragrant aroma by adopting attitudes that please and reflect Christ. In fact, Paul teaches that we are a "fragrance of Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:15). Consider these pleasing attitudes: thankful, humble, generous, gracious, kind, and cheerful.


"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place." 2 Corinthians 2:14

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus..." Philippians 2:5

What do you smell like today?

Shine

Here's the chorus & second verse of Salvador's song "Shine":

Lord let me shine
Shine like the moon
A reflection of you
All that I do
Lord let me be
A light for your truth
Light of the world
I want to be used
To shine for you

As simple as a passing smile
Or listening a little while
To someone that's convinced that
They are in this all alone
Well, here's my chance to share the news
To introduce the good that's you
Here you go again,
You never cease to blow my mind



I've been praying a lot lately that God would use me in a powerful way, however He chooses. I have to warn you to be careful what you pray for, because you just might get it all! There have been so many changes recently, it's insane. God is so good. Just like this song says, He never ceases to blow my mind. I pray that He continues to use me to shine for Him.

Who doesn't need a RED phone?

The Station Engineer, Darcey, recently purchased some phones for different tower locations. He found a great deal to buy 5 for $60.



I don't need 5, but I am a fan of the RED!

What's your story?

Matthew West's newest project is writing about your life - yes yours!! He's in a cabin for the next 2 months reading what you send him and writing new projects. You can tell him your life story at http://matthewwest.com/


Here's what I submitted:

Hey, I'm Jenn - wow...how do you just start off telling the story of 20 years?? I got saved at 4 and prayed with my Mom and brother for the next 8 years or so that my Dad would find life in Christ too. I grew up in Tulsa, OK and lived there until I was 15...just about everything I knew was there. I was homeschooled and Tulsa has amazing stuff for homeschoolers! There was so much going on, we had to cancel activities so we could get our school done! Anyways, I moved to Blackwell, OK(for my Dad's job)which was a huge culture shock! I mean, I could count the number of stoplights on 1 hand...just about. I went through depression and found God again there. He never left me. I just found Him in a new way and He opened doors for me to mentor students in a small church down the street. That grew into being a youth leader, to back-up singer on the worship team to worship leader in youth to guest speaker to fill-in worship leader in Main Church. I really grew there in my leadership skills and learned all over again how to serve God along with other people. In my Senior year I started interning at a local Christian Radio Station(The House FM & Praise 88.7)and God really grew a new passion in me for radio. I've always loved music and the message that we are able to convey in it, but this was a whole new ministry mindset. Over the lat couple years I've been promoted a few times to one of the "Office Ladies" and I'm a DJ too. When I step back and think about it, it doesn't make sense. I started working there while in high school and there's no way I can afford college, yet God is blessing me to do things that I shouldn't be able to do. I'm on the radio speaking to literally thousands of people everyday and working concerts and making Him known daily. I love that I am able to do this. I am SO blessed and I know it's God.

I'm a part of Life Center in Ponca City; part of the LifeChurch.tv network (doing church in a 21st century way). I'm highly ingrained there and I lead worship too.

Another thing I haven't mentioned is an old passion of mine - purity. When I was 12, I got up in front of about 3,000 people in my church and took a "Zero Pledge". I pledged to do zero drugs, alcohol, etc. and to stay pure until I'm married. I know a lot of churches do this and they get a ring and all and it's no big deal a few years later, but I took it to heart. I'm still living that life, though it's not easy. It's hard and it's a conscious decision EVERY DAY. It's easy to feel lonely and lose hope. It's easy for my flesh to tell me that I've lost my mind and I'm going to wake up at 32 years old with no one and all this waiting was for nothing. But, then God steps in at just the right time and reminds me of His promises. His promises are so special to me. That's what I hold to. When I try to explain my lifestyle or why I don't want to go certain places or do certain things, people don't get it. It's hard to explain and at the end of the day when I'm at my lowest and I'm vulnerable to being like the world, it could be easy for me to just give in or even give up. That's when God is my strength. Even when it doesn't make any sense to anyone, even my family, I know that God is trustworthy, faithful and He loves me and wants the best. I believe with all my heart that He does have a plan for me. I have to believe that. Over time I've been able to help other people understand and pointed them to God in the process. Some have prayed and ended up living the same way and others have shunned me, but you know what? It's worth it. Honestly, I haven't seen a physical payoff yet but I have faith that it will. And even if my highest dream of being a wife and Mom never happen - He's still good and He's still in control. It's in His hands and that's where I'm leaving it. So, that's the quick version of the story of my life...but it's not really over - I'm still finding out what the rest of my story is every day.


So, there you go. Tell them your story and you could be featured in one of his songs! We'd lvoe to know what your story is too! Be a part of the "My Story" Project with The House FM - http://www.thehousefm.com/thehouse.asp?ID=MyStory&S=0&b=1

Song of the Week

I love Brooke Fraser. Her songwriting sound is just awesome. We play "Shadowfeet" on The House FM and that's how I discovered her. She has so many good songs and messages and she actually has 2 albums already. This is one of my many favorites:


"The Thief"

Your eyes are full
Full of the future of us
The air changes as you look across
At me in that wondering way

It is as if
I knew you before we spoke
Do our hearts know something we don't?
Conspiring, converging without giving us any say

[CHORUS]
You, sing me to sleep
Talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief
I give the key to

You're ruining me
With secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets from second-hand books
Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

[CHORUS]

[Bridge]
It fits in your hand like water in rain
It unlocks our two different selves
And shows we are the same
Rather than wait `til I put me out for the taking
You're breaking
You're breaking
You're breaking into my heart
And I'm letting you


Beautiful. I hope you check out her stuff - it's amazing. (http://brookefraser.com/)

This could change your whole thinking on dating...you've been warned.

If you lend a guy $10,000, what are you going to want from him?

You'd want him to pay it back, right?

Would you lend it to him if he wouldn't commit to that?
_________________________________________

This is how I feel about dating. So many people date just to date. Sorry, I'm just not into that. If I give you my trust, I want a commitment that your not going to break my heart. Is that too much to ask, really?

My whole life I've been preparing to be a good wife; I want a good husband. So, I'm not going to compromise. I'm going to stand firm and hold to the promise that God gave me long ago. I'm going to do what I know is right.

This is a conscious choice I made a long, long time ago. You won't really want to do this if your parents pressure you into it, or it's like a rule to you. This has to become your own, a passion and you have to come to the realization that God has the very best for you & He will fulfill His promise. (I know this sounds weird, but my parents are on the look-out for me! They know my heart's choice about this and they are behind me on it. So, I have 2 extra sets of eyes looking and praying for me and my future. Actually, because of this I can rest easy. In the last year or so they have come to me with prospective people they see potential in. They're like "How about so-and-so? I thought you guys had a connection. He's a great man of God and so kind." I'm sorry, but that is just awesome. The awkwardness is all on them now!) If you ever want to chat about this, let me know.



If you don't believe your wife is precious, you won't cherish her.

If you don't believe love is best when it's pure and new, you won't wait patiently for it.

What you believe effects the way you behave.

What do you believe?

Running on Empty

I have a disorder. I have the “I want to see how far I can drive AFTER my low fuel light comes on” disorder. Anyone else with me? I’ve gotten to the point now where I keep track of my mileage after the light, trying to beat my own record for mileage driven after the low fuel light illuminates. I have actually prayed out loud before ” God, you turned water into wine, you multiplied fish and bread, you can multiply the gas in my tank so I can get to the gas station.” And then God said, “I’ve multiplied the gas stations you’ve been driving past for the last two days, you’re on your own!”

I have a spiritual disorder: I have been known to see how long I can live when I’m running on empty. When I’m running on empty in my spiritual life I have come to recognize the low fuel light. When I’m running on empty:

-God’s voice is harder to hear

-I feel promptings from the Holy Spirit less

-I am more irritable

-I am more selfish

-I don’t serve people with a heart of gratitude

-I do ministry out of obligation and not out of the overflow of my heart

The danger for many of us is that we don’t recognize when the spiritual “low fuel” light comes on, or we do and we just ignore it. I can get so good at ignoring it that I actually convince people that I have a full tank, when I'm really running on fumes.

I feel like I am running on empty this week. So… I’m not going to ignore it, I’m not going to “try to get through this week, then I can spend some time refueling.” I’m going to take little steps each day to replenish my heart so that I can live out the mission God has given me as a daughter, worker, friend and woman of God.


Do you try to run on empty? What are some signs in your life that you are running on empty?

Love With Grace

Bringing criticism, judgment, and self-righteousness into relationships is all too easy. Saying "Why didn't you..." "You should have..." or "I told you so" requires no effort. But being gracious is what we need, and that's what Christ calls us to be. We're human. We're going to disappoint one another. We're not always going to meet each other's needs.



"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8 (NAS)



How has Christ shown you grace, and how can His grace spill over in your relationships?



Ephesians 4:2, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (NIV)




What you can do today to show a gracious attitude toward someone else? Some ideas:

· Let it go.

· Assume the best.

· In your quiet time, think about the different ways God has covered you with grace rather than burdened you with judgment.

· Hang around friends with gracious attitudes. Let their attitudes rub off on you.

· Be careful of keeping company with people who are constantly bashing and bad-mouthing other people. Their bad attitudes are likely to affect yours.

· Don't say, "I told you so."




Now, go! Spread the love - with grace.

Oh.....Valentine's Day.

Are you a woman who doesn't look forward to Valentine's Day? Whether you are single and without a special someone in your life, or married and tired of being disappointed from unmet expectations on the "Day of Romance," you are not alone.

Surveys show that countless women feel frustrated every year and let down on February 14th primarily because of unmet expectations. Women look for expressions of love that will meet their preconceived romantic notions. And many times, even well-intentioned men can't possibly compete.

What if this year you took the man in your life off the hook? What if this year you focused not on your expectations or the disappointment that the "Day of Romance" tends to bring, but on the Author of Romance, Himself, and what He's been trying to show you day in and day out about how cherished you are in His sight? In other words, what if this year you looked to God to meet your expectations first and then let the man in your life (if you have one) do what he can and see it as an added bonus?


For instance, look at the tender words God says, in His Word, to and about His people:

• He calls you unforgettable: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15).

• He says He has always loved you and always will: "...I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).

• He calls Himself your Husband: "For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit…" (Isaiah 54:5-6a).

• He says His love for you is greater than anything you'll ever find on this earth: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). And then Jesus did just that -- He laid down His life for you...one He calls "friend."

• He promises He'll never leave you: "...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5b).

• He assures you in His Word that He has chosen you as His own: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight…" (Ephesians 1:4).

• He assures you in His Word that nothing will be able to separate you from His ever-pursuing love: "... neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39).

Reading verses like that, over and over, is like re-reading portions of a love letter that resonates with our hearts. And when our emotional tank is filled - by recognizing that we are valuable, loved and pursued in the sight of an all-knowing, all-loving God - we can then receive whatever our husband or boyfriend has to offer as the "cherry on top." Or, if nothing else is offered us, we still know we are loved and we are more able and stable to deal with whatever does - or does not - come our way.



So go boldly into Valentine's Day this year, my friend, and celebrate it because of how loved and cherished you are in the eyes of the Living God. And if you have a husband or boyfriend who makes an attempt that isn't quite to your expectations, thank God for him and bless him anyway. Your "True Husband" will be watching!

lol...lol...lol...ugh.

Ok, what's with people using 'lol' way too much? It's like a complete sentance to them. It makes me wonder if they ever really laugh out loud or it's just something easy to type? Here's how a typical conversation with someone would go:


Me: Hey! How's life?
Them: lol good lol
Me: Haha, ok...
Them: lol
Me: Really? That good huh?
Them: lol
Me: Is that all you can say?
Them: lol
Me: Uh-huh...so are you really laughing out loud right now?
Them: lol
Me: Hmmmm, I'm still not convinced.
Them: lol
Me: Wow, well...you know 'lol' is not a complete sentance right?
Them: lol
Me: I see you get my point.
Them: lol
Me: Riiiiiight
Them: lol
Me: Well, this has been a deep conversation...
Them: lol
Me: Of course.
Them: lol
Me: It's been good talking to you
Them: lol
Me: Bye
Them: lol



Yeah....get my point? If you are laughing out loud that much, I need to be a comedian! Come on people, 'lol' is way overused! Using it a bit here or there I understand but, really use discretion. Personally I say 'Haha' because that's an actual laugh and I'm laughing at the time. So, what do you use? Really, we need something new so we can throw away the 'lol'...

My Ode to Snow

I love snow & cold weather. As of today, most of it is gone. And that makes me sad. So, here's to you, Snow:

My yard is soggy
But I'm no froggy

Snow, why'd you have to go
I love you more than any beau

Why, oh why did you go away
When all I want is for you to stay

Beautiful snow, come back soon
Until then, I'll watch the moon


There you have it, now the healing begins.

A Sweet Smell

Ephesians 5:2 encourages us to "...live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (NIV).

What does that really mean? How can we offer a fragrant offering that is pleasing to God and be a fragrance to those around us?

There is a Hawaiian saying, "Tiny is the flower, yet it scents the grasses around it." What a great illustration of how the smallest things can have impactful results. The fact that the flower is small and seemingly insignificant, does not keep it from spreading the fragrance it was created to share. In fact, often the smallest flower can have the most potent fragrance!

Sometimes we may feel like a tiny flower. We wonder if we are really capable of doing anything big or important for Christ. Insecurities, feelings of unworthiness or life challenges prevent us from seeing how God can use us to bless Him and impact others. It is not the size of the actions that matter, but the aroma that is created by those actions. Each time we do something in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness we offer a fragrant offering to God. And we help others learn how to be a little fragrant flower too, in a big world that can be pretty stinky.





Each one of us can choose what fragrance we exude. It might be a good idea to ask from time to time, What type of fragrance am I leaving behind? How am I affecting the world around me with the gifts God gave me? Am I exuding a spiritual aroma that is a fragrant offering to Christ?

Our lingering fragrance should be one of love and kindness, not anger and harshness. Patience and faithfulness, not intolerance and selfishness. And lifting people's spirits with joy and peace, not leaving them discouraged and broken. Our fragrance should be sowing seeds that point to the goodness of Christ. (Check Galatians 5:22)

When God created flowers, He intentionally created them to give off a sweet aroma. And He created us just the same. So, what fragrance are you wearing today?







"Spritz" on a sweet fragrance today that is pleasing to Christ.

Consider how you can "scent the grasses" in your life with God's love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.

Think about the spiritual fragrance you have been wearing lately, and the impact it has on others.

Do you think God is pleased with your lingering fragrance?






2 Corinthians 2:15, "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." (NIV)


Lord, teach me how to smell like You.